I have limped my way through four weeks of ‘prison silence’ – my life feels muted and almost surreal. On two occasions I have phoned the correctional centre (knowing fully that I would not receive any concrete information about my son) – but just wanting somebody at the centre to realise that my son was deeply loved by his mother.
I understand and support our justice system – and thank God everyday for the safe and enriched country in which I live. However my heart and soul now shares the daily grief and anxiety with many other mothers whose children are also in prison.
Vocabulary that I only read about is now a part of my language: adjournment, remand, committal hearings, sentencing and of course ‘time’.
So just like I waited patiently for his birth, I now must wait patiently for his court outcome.
And then life will recommence with a myriad of new rules, boundaries and hopefully recovery. Will I be equipped with the emotional tools for this phase.
Maybe my life as a grieving and healing mother is just beginning.